Thursday 3 November 2011

Six Months On

Six months ago today I was given a huge dose of chemotherapy in preparation for a stem cell transplant the next day.  I feel as though I have come a long way. Yes, tossers on the X Factah etc talk about "their journey" but this does really feel like a journey has taken place.  Six months ago I was around 8 stone (I lost nearly three stone), was weak and unable to stand or walk. I was, apart from being able to transfer to a wheelchair to visit the bathroom etc, bedridden.  I'm not going to recount the days and weeks leading up to this nor those that came after it as this has been given ample treatment in previous blogs. All I want to say here is that those six months have been very fruitful.  I am now on the edge of 10 stone in weight which is about right for my height.  I can now stand and walk for short distances, albeit with a walking frame.  I'm receiving good physiotherapy treatment to further my progress and I'm back at work after 9 months of sick leave.  I feel well, I look well and everything is going in the right direction.

Looking back at the journey, yes there have been some extremely low points. Not knowing what was causing my problems prior to a diagnosis was a frightening experience. Being told I had POEMS syndrome and what that entailed was horrifying. The treatment of heavy dose chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant was brutal and the three weeks spent in hospital during this treatment were horrendous.  Afterwards, knowing that getting back on my feet was going to take months and that the physiotherapy to bring that about would be painful, I was distraught with fear for the future.  But those ensuing months actually went by much quicker than I initially thought they might.  Much of this was due to the warped psychological dimensions of the illness and the treatment but as every day passed so life gradually got easier again.  For sure, I have difficult days and I have upsetting moments as I gradually get used to living with disability, which, might not be forever (I hope), but is certainly going to feature in one manifestation or another for the forseeable future. I have to learn to adapt to this and I think I am slowly.

As well as being a memory jogger for me to look back on in the future, another intention of this blog was to create a record for sufferers of this horrendous disease in the future and that it may help and encourage people who are starting out on the journey that I am now well into.  I hope that it will serve this purpose.